Home Sweet Home

"My stomach is a home" Crystal said very sentimentally. (note: she is NOT pregnant) She then proceeded to ponder what it would be like to be an interior decorator for a womb and remind me that a baby lives in a womb longer than we've lived in our apartment.

Alternative History

While watching Pickett's Charge in the movie "Gettysburg": I wonder how this would have been different if the Confederates would have been on bath salts..."

Nutrition Commentary

"I don't think anything in the world is healthy." -Crystal, while making dinner

Harps

"Harps kinda annoy me and make me wanna shoot cupids like clay pigeons." -Crystal

Cute Twins

"I saw these identical twin babies today. It was so cute! Well, they weren't cute. It was just cute to see two identical things."

Giggle and Tricks

"Michael! Your singing is tickling me! ...(rambling laughter)... I can't stop giggling... giggles and tricks..." -Crystal. What?

Walker-Friendly

While reading an FAQ about a 5k:

Crystal: Aww, it says "this race is walker-friendly."
Me: Wha?
Crystal: That's so sad. How would it feel to have people running by you while you're using a walker?
She proceeded to frown and mimic someone using a walker. Completely serious.

Sickness

"oh shoes, this is what they feel like." -Crystal, venturing outside for the first time after being sick for almost a week.

Procreation

"I can't wait until our children are old enough to do chores." Lucky kids...

Lion and a Lamb?

"March hops in like a rabbit and out like roadkill. I just made that up." -Crystal

Butterfly Kisses

During our honeymoon, I batted my eyelashes on Crystal's shoulder one night. Her response: "STOP IT! I might gouge your eyes out! ...I can't be responsible for what my fingers do..."

Photosynthesizing

One time when Crystal was feeling giddy, she yelled this at me: "I'm Photosynthesizing! Stay there! You're a ladybug!" huh?

Affirm My Body...

While we were waking up, Crystal turned to me and said... "I just felt the need to affirm my body. Let me explain. I have to pee. I want to affirm all the different parts of my body that are making this work."